Comparing ourselves to others only proves that we have a need to judge. They offer zero positive benefits and often create conflicts in our relationships of others. Today, the moment you have a positive or negative comparison thought, try this. Say the following, “I am perfect just the way I am. I am a powerful, positive person. Since I am what I think, I choose to think I am SA-WEETNESS all over.”
“If we find ourselves always coming out on the positive or negative end of comparisons, we may eventually develop strong feelings of loneliness and isolation. This occurs because others (consciously or unconsciously) sense our assessment and, at some level, pick up on our belief of better than or less than. With either belief, we are inviting conflict or submission in our relationships. In such a case, intimacy never develops fully.
“Taking it a step further; if we compare ourselves to others, we are demonstrating a value driven by a desire to be the same as or different from someone else. Given that forward progress on our life’s journey requires discovering and valuing the true self (as we are) we can only imagine how much comparison can slow us down. The negative ego strategy of comparison limits the future by allowing others to dictate it. In other words, when we look to others for assessment of ourselves, we are, in essence, at the mercy o f their level of functioning.
“Confronting the negative ego and diminishing its effects can result in us being more fully present in our interactions with others as well as with our selves. In a sense, when we are successful in separating out the negative ego messages, we become the observer of our thoughts and take responsibility for them. This requires courage on our part to be in the moment. When we empower ourselves to be fully present in this way, we disempower the negative ego.” Exerpt from Who Am I? How Do I Find Me (Meda Killgore, Therapist and Author)
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